DaveBankes

Disco Driving

Have you seen these new lights they’re installing at the intersections lately? It amazes me what Law enforcement will do for entertainment. They have these cameras set up, and when someone runs over the line, the light flashes, and the camera takes a picture. Now, I know that sounds pretty smart right? But, remember when the lights flashes, it’s the equivalent of having a flash bulb go off in your face. Remember the dreaded black dot you’d see for a few minutes after? Imagine having a whole intersection full of drivers and all of them have this black dot thing going on. It wouldn’t be so bad, but some of those drivers are…well, driving!!!

And what’s the purpose anyway? Does the DMV have a Face Book Page, or are they really taking pictures into court? “Here Your Honor, we have a picture of Mr. Bankes drinking coffee as he pulls up to the intersection, and in this one, he’s smoking a cigarette, here he’s playing with the radio knob.” I don’t get it, did a cop walk into a disco somewhere and see one of these strobe lights and say, “You know where that would really look cool is on the corner of 5^th and Market.” What are they going to do next, set up a Boom Box, and then set the traffic lights to flash in time to the music?

Email on The Internet

What if getting Email was like eating at your favorite restaurant. You log in, they bring you a few ads to look over while you wait for the server. Then they come and take your order.  “Today’s special is the Trojan Virus, with a side of dead links, or we also have the Spam emails smothered in Address Book stealing apps, if you’d like…”

Response to Bill Maher HBO Stand-up Comedy

“Yes Bill, we do know the four Branches of Government in the United States and their functions:

 The Executive Branch- Their function is to take the blame for everything that doesn’t work.

 The Judicial Branch- Their function is to decide which crooks get prosecuted and which crooks go free.

 The Legislative Branch- Their function is to decide which laws will reap the Government and Special Interest Groups the most Tax Dollars.

 And last but certainly not least,

The Lobbyist Branch- Their function is to decide which Special Interest Projects to bring before the Legislative Branch for consideration.”

New Virus Announced

A Pharmaceutical company announced today that they've come out with a new virus, Herpes Simplex 6.3. Spokesperson for the company says that the new virus has many more features than older versions, such as symptom waiting, Conference calling, Voice mail and many web capabilities. The company is unsure how long it will be before the full version of the virus will be on store shelves, but a trial version is available on their website